Nigerian dating culture
While living in the in-laws’ Chinese household, Hueying’s mother, the Japanese outsider, suffers in silence while playing the role of the traditional daughter-in-law until her resentment brews against her own daughter, Hueying.
Of course, not all daughters-in-law must endure silent rejection, abuse or worse at the hands of their Chinese mothers-in-law.
Still, even among today’s married women in China, Chinese mothers-in-law aren’t unlike Chinese deities: something to revere and fear.
The looming prospect of a live-in mother-in-law was enough to break a relationship, in the case of my friend, Peter Pi.
It could have been any other pile of clothing — pastel linen blouses, jeans with a flower pattern embroidered on the side, a silk robe in peacock blue, and more.
But they were my the clothes of my sister-in-law, Da Sao, married to my husband’s eldest brother.
It seems this could all get pretty political, with both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law triangulating and manipulating to keep son/husband in their corner.
Consider this example in the same post cited above, from China Live Hope: The classmate asked her boyfriend to get her a drink of water, and the boyfriend (foolish boy) asked his mother to get him a drink of water (intending to give it to his girlfriend)….As sort of “low woman on the totem pole” in her new family, one of her main jobs would be to serve her mother-in-law and make her happy.The Chinese mother-in-law (at least in ages past) had a reputation for being pretty demanding and difficult to please — after all, she had once been low woman on the totem pole as well, and had risen through the ranks to become mother, mother-in-law, and hopefully, grandmother.According to Confucian principles of filial piety, sons — not daughters — are the only ones obligated to serve and care for their birth parents in their old age.As a result, they are golden to the family (think insurance, before social security and pensions existed) and preferred over daughters.