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So, I’m going to break in here right at the start: this is a good thing to recognize in yourself.

Realizing that you’re holding on to negative, self-limiting beliefs is an important step in overcoming them. Physically attractive, tall and fit, non smoker, social drinker, intelligent (masters qualified), undertaking a career that corresponds with my education level, and cultured, with a strong interest in many of the arts, along with active competition in sport (i’m a cyclist) to a high amateur level.

These are the Post-Mortems, where we dissect a letter and dig through the remains in order to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, we’re having to liberally apply the Chair Leg of Truth to a lifetime of beliefs.

But, while the love may be tough, at the end we’re going to know exactly what went wrong and how we can do better next time.

You weren’t required to see them again; you didn’t dig them and that was the end of that.

If you were to get a second date with someone and realize that you weren’t actually into them and decide not to see them again, then you would be dictating terms there, too. You can take all of five seconds to read through Buzzfeed listicles about women’s dating woes to realize that they’re dealing with the same bullshit you are.

This is why it’s a good idea to make your first date a pre-date date – basically, meeting for fifteen or twenty minutes for coffee to establish whether or not it’s worth going on a .

If you mean “women don’t make the first move,” then you’re missing a critical factor: a lot of guys react to women who flaunt or invert gender roles.

When women make the first move on the wrong guy, one of two things happens. Or it may mean that you make a good first impression, but they just weren’t attracted to you, sexually or physically. – The instant gratification culture, a lack of recognition that it takes some time to get to know someone, and develop chemistry, and that men need more than one date to achieve this.

Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues.

But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.

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The problem, however, is that sometimes you don’t realize that you’re focusing on the . I am also a sociable person, not autistic (to my knowledge) and am well liked by friends of both genders.

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